The Magic of Uncertainy


“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the true source of all art and science.” Albert Einstein

This is why I travel. This is why the open road, high seas, and vast skies calls to me. I am now familiar with the unknown way of life. I like the magic of uncertainty. I don’t make decisions anymore. I let myself be led by the wonder and awe that arrives in every day. Spontaneously living in each moment is the way I roll now.

I didn’t do that before selling everything I owned to enjoy a life of teaching and traveling.

The now moment is enchantingly pregnant with possibility—I don’t know what is coming next and I won’t consult a psychic to find out. I like the unknown – I am not sure of anything anymore. I don’t make plans. People have suggested I make plans but I know that the now moment will decide. I may not want to head north to Mexico; I may decide to head south to Nicaragua or Colombia. And I want to go back to Belize but will wait for my orders from grand central God. My internal GPS guidance, soul direction whisperings. Call it God, Buddha, Allah etc just call it up and it will tell you. The answers to every question are inside us.

And that is why I can travel without any furniture in my birth country waiting for me. That is the past and I know that the present is where it’s at.

Everything changes. Constantly.

I’ve noticed worry is unnecessary. It never helped anyone. In my past life worrying would consume whole days. When will he call, where is my son, can I pay the rent, will the check come, why hasn‘t my agent emailed me, when will someone do something that I need him to do?

Worry was engrained in my psyche like flies on flypaper or deeply rooted distress from the past sticking to me like peanut butter. It’s all crap.

As my Thai teacher, a Buddhist meditation master called it: “Garbage.”

This kind of thinking results in nothing good. We were raised with the idea that worrying about someone will be good for the person we worry about. Not. How could it be good? It will only engage the very problem or difficulty we are afraid will happen.

I am reading “Your Erroneous Zones” by Wayne Dyer. He wrote it in the 70’s and I read it in the 80’s but it did not sink in until now in 2011. Why? Because I am living my life like this day may be my last. And living each moment more intimately than I have ever done before.

I used to think when I smoked pot and drank premium red wine that I was high and happy but I was just stoned and drunk. There’s a difference. There is a crash and a hangover. Now I go to the mountains or the seashore if I want to be high and happy. Or I relax into the moment and wait.

I don’t know what is happening next. I like the seduction of not knowing. The mysterious calls to me with an inviting whisper. I am listening now.

Albert Einstein was right. The mysterious is beautiful. It is juicy to not be sure. To open a window in life and feel the breeze come in.

There are moments in life where the wonder and awe that is meant to guide us on our paths pops up in a kaleidoscopic way and you know in every cell of your being as the hair on your arms stands up and the soul feels full, that this is magic.

No Hurry No Worry: Slowing Down


After three days on the farm I am slowing down and letting it be. I hurried out of my tent this morning to get to the natural lagoon to do yoga and I laughed at myself. Why was I hurrying to get to yoga?

I slowed my pace to a leisurely stroll.

Nowhere to go, nothing to do. Even when I have things to do I do not need to hurry and do them.

Long ago I read this somewhere: Slow down to speed up.

By this I mean slow down to see all the beauty. Life speeds up faster as the divine presents itself in the details. Slowing down we can see the details more clearly. Each moment becomes more full and ripe.

Slowing down is its own reward.

As my pace slowed on the path to the lagoon I realized I had not sat by the lagoon in four days of being here at Finca Ixobel an organic farm in Guatemala. I had hastily photographed it and then left the site. Swimming in the natural pool would be good I thought as I walked away from it. Now I am back by the pool and will begin to teach my private photography session here in 45 minutes. I did my chant for abundance this morning and an hour later a lovely traveling couple from England asked me to teach them. The abundance came fast.

We have goals in mind and sometimes that detracts us from the now moment. Before arriving here I wanted to leave the bush and then I found out that my ride had left without me. But it turned out to be a good thing as I was with my son and we had a wonderful walk to the river where he is building his new house. Wow. It is a courageous thing to do for a young man – it is a courageous thing to do no matter what the age. So we had more time together and when we got back Merlin the magician and his young girlfriend had come to visit us from the other side of the country. I’ve been told he has powers and I noticed he is a deeply joyful person. The youngsters were so glad to see him – I don’t know him so well but I was glad too – it added a new dimension to  our little band of 2 boys and me living in a big hut in the middle of the jungle.

It was good that I slowed down and was not in a hurry to leave.

So last night I saw the full moon with the clouds floating by underneathe it. The moon had a pink aura in the middle of the night as I laid on the ground in my tent looking at the moon lighting up my life. I had nowhere to go and nothing to do. I was lying on a bed of pine needles staring up at the sky happy. I was grateful that I had not left this farm yet. I keep waking up happy so I stay.