There’s mucho meat in Argentina – I think there’s some beef in my bra right now. They even give you a meat ration on the bus in case you go into withdrawal after not eating it for more than an hour.
We just crossed the border into Brazil. It feels more sensual all ready or is that just my bikini wax talking? I’m ready for the beach in Rio but I may stick out a bit with my bathing suit from Maui that covers both butt cheeks.
I like my butt but I’m not sure I want to share it with the rest of the world in Ipanema.Oh what they hell maybe someone will write a song about it.
I arrived in Rio and strolled along Ipanema beach gasping for air with my eyes agog. People of every stripe, weight, and age were walking by in bikinis and sprayed on Speedos showing every detail of their anatomy.
It was way more information than I needed.
Beer guts flopped, swollen breasts jiggled and no one even noticed. How refreshing although horrifying.
But I am in Brazil, where carnival and cleavage was born.
So it only took me five decades to figure out string bikinis. It’s for tanning every inch of your body. The strings untie at the bra back and ride high on each thigh. While sunning the strings come undone. It is not for the faint of heart.
Hedonism is rampant here. So I might as well join in. When in Rio do as the Brazilians do and this country was built on pulsating music and plunging necklines.
And to think I have not been dating madly every night. There’s still time. I’ve been looking over the livestock and the strong, dark, and handsome men appeal to me. They sure aren’t Hindus like in Bali – they want to tango.
But I don’t want to catch an STD or start anything without firewood. No smoke and mirrors for me.
Maybe I don’t feel so horny because I had my menopause. I plumb ran out of eggs so now I’m free to roam the earth and do what I want.
But the best thing I ever did was having a baby.
He is now taller than me and is out saving the world. He’s helped a lot of people and inspired me to do the same.
People can say whatever they want about me but if anyone ever said anything against him I would rip their heads off and stomp on them; they’d be toast.
See how wandering in the Himalayas has helped me be calm?
At first I thought this country was over-priced for what it is but finally I am falling for Brazil. It took a tropical island, a travel companion who is a professional bartender, and my own bathroom.
Add sudden warm rainstorms with sandy paths and a car-free landscape to calm me down. There’s no traffic here in Barra Grande! We have donkeys with carts to carry things.
Everything is tranquil and my tan is deepening. That is my true wealth to be outside in the sun and fresh air and not cooped up in an office. Good thing I got my bikini waxed. It’s fun to always be ready for a string bikini no matter what. No panties or shoes; this is the way I like to live. I haven’t worn a bra in weeks or bothered to hold my gut in.
I feel rich. My assets are: experiences, cameras, and jewelry. And a few stocks.
And I am safe as I don’t travel alone – I travel with my angels. They speak to me in gentle whispers, give me short directions; go there, stop, don’t buy that.
Major tip to self: always listen to the inner voice. It’s never wrong.